Chestnust Roasting...

Tonight was one of those crazy nights.

No.

Today was one of those crazy days.

Right now, it’s a little after midnight on Saturday and I’m slouched in my bed with my laptop on my lap, guessing blindly at the keys and wishing desperately for someone to keep me company.

So today. I got up around ten and ate breakfast, took a shower, avoided my homework, wrote some emails, watched some Sex and the City, avoided my homework some more. You know the drill.

Then I went to the Piscine St. Georges with my host mother and sister, Annie and Claire. Now, seeing this pool in the middle of downtown was like finding a quarter buried in the sand. It’s this beautiful occurrence of nothing, a glimmer in the sunlight. The pool is indoors, and it’s well heated, well kept. It’s in a good neighborhood, there aren’t any small children, the showers are clean. And the pool is a mosaic. The floor and the walls are tiled by these tiny ceramic squares of blues and reds and yellows. The best part is, you can’t tell if you’re standing on the edge. Then the surface blurs the swirls and stars into nothing, the pool is nothing special when you’re not in it. But once you’re submerged, you see these intricacies in every direction, they’re all around you. And there are a few foiled in silver or copper or gold, and they scintillate as you glide through the water, different from every angle. Since I didn’t have my glasses on, when I was farther away, I’d only see blurry halos of light framed by reds and blues coming to meet me head on as I swam. It was an out of body experience, and I felt like summer again. I wish you could see it, it’s amazing.

Then we showered up and came home, clean and refreshed, having bought a few goodies from the open-air market (momma, you would LOVE the marche). And we got home and I sat around some more and then I TALKED TO CARLY ON THE PHONE FOR THREE HOURS. In caps because it was fantastic to be able to squeeze that much contact into my day, I think it was sorely needed. I really do just need to wake myself up every now and then, remember that I’m not completely incapable of understanding, or of being understood. And it seems there’s always something, always a reason to get off the phone, never enough time to make sure everything is said. And of course, even with three hours, that was still true. But it was relaxing and familiar, and it brought me back to myself.

But I was stupid. It was a stupid thing. I heard the other line beeping, and I tried everything, but I could NOT figure out how to switch over. And of course, that was sort of alarming, but I was a little out of body, and I didn’t really pay attention to what time it was, and I figured they could call back. Plus, everyone has a cell phone. What could I be missing? Ai, I should’ve seen it coming. The phone always gets me in trouble. Annie came upstairs a half an hour after I get off and was very angry about everything. She yelled some, about me not paying attention and monopolizing the line, and I nodded along and apologized, and that was that.

So after the fight, all I wanted to do was talk some more (vicious cycle), but it was dinner time. And Annie’s parents are here. And we had five different seafood – oysters and mussels and shrimp, and some weird snail-type thing and some other clam-guy neither of which I can name in English. And sea food is not my favorite thing. No matter how it tastes, it’s still chewy and slimy and usually has eyes or guts or is still living when you put it in the pot. Or it gives off a strange odor. Or it isn’t cooked at all. All of these are characteristic of the craziness I ate tonight. It was a learning experience, really.

Then, we had chestnuts. Which had been roasted on an open fire. Yes, I sang the song. Yes, they gave me crazy looks. And yes, I’m going to need you to send me some Bing and some Peter Paul and Mary and some Roaches and some Harry Connick. Yes, all of those things are true.

And now I’m in bed, tired and tired, wishing I could be with you.

This is for baby Charlotte:

YOU’RE THE MOST WONDERFUL SISTER EVER, AND I’M GONNA LOVE YOU SO HARD IT’LL KNOCK YOUR LITTLE BABY SOCKS OFF, KAY?

K, cool.

I miss you.

Until Next Time,
A: Love is a chaotic crack in the armor.
B: Through the cracks we breathe.
- uncomfortable silence -
B: I surprise myself sometimes.

COUNTDOWN to return: 200 days [milestone, people, milestone!]

ps: Momma, can you call me tonight?