This is it. We have hit the big time, the real deal, the deep end.
And I'm jumping. With my eyes closed, and my hands tied.
I'm packed. I have everything. I have more than everything.
I can't even tell you how apprehensive I am. It feels like the whole world is spinning faster than I can, but I'm struggling to catch up, when really all I want to do is let it move around me so I can be still and take time and think. And in the end, that is just selfish, I need to learn to live through everything as it happens the first time around, instead of in my head or in my notebook a few hours later.
The pros weight out the cons in this adventure, I know they do, we've all weighed them out in our minds. But I can't feel that right now. I'm scared and sad, and I'm just hoping that once the excitement comes (which it will, it has to) it will never leave. I hope that it will keep me afloat.
I love you, you who has decided that reading this is worth your time, and I hope that you will stick with me long enough to see the anxiety fade into exhilaration.
But my aunt Colleen is waiting to meet me in Boston, I have my iPod and my new clothes and my notebook to keep me company, and it's always healthy to cry.
The next time you hear from me, I will be in FRANCE.
SO...
Until Next Time, "I wish the whole world were flat like the old days, and I could travel just by folding a map. No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways, there'd be no distance that could hold us back." - Death Cab for Cutie
COUNTDOWN to departure: 9 hours, 40 minutes
COUNTDOWN to return: 266 days
09 September 2004
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1 comment:
Hey Maddie - I know this is rather random, but it's Avey here. I never got to know you as well as I'd have liked to, but I think you were really amazing and you just had this great spirit about you and I just wanted to tell you that because I'll probably never see you again in life, but thanks for just being such a great person. Lol I'm glad you got a blog on blogspot instead of LiveJournal - blogspot is the way to go (I'm a big supporter). But anyway, I hope you have the greatest time in France ever, because in the end, how could you not? It's going to be amazing and you're going to come upon things that are going to change your life and you'll come back changed, but in the end you'll be the same Maddie we all know and love. So have a great time and don't count the days! MAKE THE DAYS COUNT. I'll be missing you. Until we meet again.
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